The late fräulein's screams hadn't even finished echoing off the chamber walls before her bones crumbled to dust, falling in a pile with her generically oppressive military uniform and the gun she had so recently been pointing at me. She brought it on herself with a stupid request, really, and I would have been amused by the drama of the display, but then the stone head of the idol swiveled to regard me. The rubies of its eyes glittered, and that voice boomed in my mind once more.
"Choose your boon," it demanded.
"No thanks," I ventured. "I'm good."
There was a brief pause. It was the first evidence of any surprise that I had noticed during the conversation.
"You returned the missing item. A boon must be granted," the voice informed me.
"Really, I'm all set. I don't have any particular desire for anything I'm not capable of granting myself."
"All mortals crave something beyond their means," the voice boomed. Then, petulantly, it added, "Just pick something, already."
With a sigh, I gave in. "Okay, fine. Please give me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Crunchy peanut butter, strawberry jam, buttermilk bread."
There was another pause.
"Seriously?"
"Yes," I shouted, then reigned in my exasperation. "A PB&J on buttermilk. I can't get good buttermilk on this coast. So that's what I want. And it's technically beyond my grasp."
Another brief pause, then a sandwich appeared in my hand. It looked pretty good, but I wasn't hungry just then, so I slid it into a clean sample bag and placed it in my backpack.
"Aren't you even going to eat it?!"
"Just going to save it for later," I said cheerfully.
The door that had slammed close upon our entry slid open, grudgingly, and I walked out of the chamber, the booming grumble of an annoyed demigodling slowly fading behind me.
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